Monday, September 28, 2009,
Crisis . ... This few days,I was trying very hard to improve myself ...
But things seem to be not workin ... perharp i didn try hard enough ...
I was not good enough ...
Like what they say .. I was too stubborn
not initiative enough ...
not aggressive enough ...
not capable enough ...
Sometime is not that I dun have any emotional uprise ..
It just that ...
there's is sometime blockin my emotional veins ...
not allowin myself to lose control or break down ...
I just dun like the feelin of other pitying me ...
Cos i know tat cryin won't help ... I still need to face it ..
it just that the timing is different wheather i break down anot ...
I dun allow myself to break down in front of anyone again ...
I want to be in my best image ...
Frenz ...
Sometimes, this fren often make me feel that ...
he/she is finding out some information from me by callin me...
but everytime i see his/her name on my phone ... i was delighted ...
cos thou we are busy, at least he/she still rmb me ...
but often ... the conversation was like, as wat i said ...he finding out some truth from me ....
fren can good and bad ..
also ...
can be true and fake ...
but i still trust him alots ...
hope he my true n good fren ....
Changes...
I use to be easily jealous toward the guy i admire ...
but now ...
mayb i admire this current guy ...
i know hw to control my jealousy ... prevent it to overcome my mood ...
i did it .. but everything seem numb ...
seem dead ....
i seem to be lockin the door inside my heart ...
i lose the key for the emotional door ...
i thou it will be better for me to be like this ...
but ...
i realise ... i need to have my emotional back ...
wheather angry ... sad ... disappointment ....happy ...
i gonna find em back ...
Im findin the key back ...
I really trying very hard to improve...
I really hope somebody will notice ...
but to no vain ....
gonna try HARDED
I'm Totally Stress Up ...
